A good friend has recently been working to re-kindle her relationship to her partner. Their relationship felt strong and vital, so they put it on the back burner while attending matters of family, health, finance, and the work of raising their two vibrant, creative kids. But something else happened in the fullness of their daily lives: they each grew and changed with every new experience, and without consciously reconnecting, they lost track of each other. More and more, they were finding themselves were angry, frustrated, or just plain baffled.
In reconnecting, my friend has learned that when time is limited, it helps to know what we feel most nurtured by. Is it a touch on the hand across the table or a hug at the end of the day? A playful wink above the children’s heads? Words of appreciation for the work each contributes? Small and unexpected gifts? A cup of tea brought without asking? Time walking together, holding hands, talking without interruption – or saying nothing, and just being?
Knowing how we feel loved also helps when we’re caring for ourselves. Maybe you’re having bubble baths with candles because you want to care for yourself – but what you really crave is a walk with music, or time out with friend.
Is there something you particularly look for, to feel special and valued?